Merrit Malloy’s 1985 poem, “Epitaph,” offers profound instructions. It guides loved ones on how to grieve and remember the speaker after death, establishing a unique framework.
Author Merrit Malloy
Merrit Malloy is the distinguished author behind the impactful poem “Epitaph,” a piece that has resonated deeply with readers and viewers alike. Her unique voice crafted a powerful message concerning life, death, and the enduring nature of human connection. While the provided information specifically highlights her authorship of this particular work, it underscores her ability to articulate complex emotions and profound philosophical concepts through verse. Malloy’s contribution extends beyond mere words; she offers a perspective that encourages a shift in how individuals approach remembrance and legacy. Her literary creation serves as a comforting guide, demonstrating her skill in addressing universal experiences with grace and wisdom. Through “Epitaph,” Merrit Malloy leaves an indelible mark, inspiring reflection and offering solace. Her work is a testament to the power of poetry in navigating life’s ultimate transitions.
The 1985 Poem
The impactful 1985 poem by Merrit Malloy is a significant contribution to literary works exploring grief. Many who encountered it years ago found its words, like ‘look for me in the people I’ve known or loved,’ deeply resonated, becoming unforgettable. This piece functions specifically as an epitaph, providing clear, heartfelt instructions. It guides loved ones on how to grieve and remember the speaker after their passing. Malloy’s 1985 creation offers a unique framework for navigating bereavement. It emphasizes enduring connections and the continuity of presence. This timeless work provides profound solace, redefining traditional remembrance. The poem effectively shapes perspectives on lasting love and legacy. It remains a powerful, cherished literary guide.
Defining the Epitaph
An epitaph, traditionally a concise inscription on a tombstone, commemorates the departed. However, Merrit Malloy’s poem redefines this concept. It is explicitly identified as an epitaph, instructing loved ones on how to grieve and remember the speaker after their death. This work transcends a simple memorial statement, transforming into a comprehensive set of posthumous directives. It offers a unique framework for navigating loss and sustaining connection. Rather than a static inscription, Malloy’s poem functions as a dynamic guide, providing emotional and practical advice from beyond the grave. It shifts the focus from passive remembrance to active engagement, encouraging specific actions and perspectives. This poetic epitaph thus becomes a living testament, shaping the ongoing relationship between the deceased and the living.

The Poem’s Central Message

Merrit Malloy’s poem serves as an epitaph, providing clear instructions for loved ones on how to grieve and remember the speaker. It emphasizes connection and a lasting legacy beyond physical presence.
Instructions for Grieving and Remembering
Merrit Malloy’s “Epitaph” provides a unique and unconventional guide for those left behind. The central message instructs loved ones to redefine their grief and remembrance, moving beyond traditional sorrow. Instead of solitary weeping, the poem encourages channeling emotions outwards, suggesting that genuine connection with others becomes the primary means of honoring the departed. It emphasizes an active, outward-focused approach to coping with loss, where the speaker’s memory is preserved not through lamentation, but through continued engagement with humanity. This profound framework prompts a shift in perspective, transforming personal grief into a broader human experience, fostering a living legacy through empathetic actions and shared humanity. The poem thus outlines a compassionate, community-oriented path for remembrance;
Legacy Beyond Death
Merrit Malloy’s “Epitaph” reimagines the concept of a legacy, moving beyond traditional memorials or personal achievements. The poem suggests that the speaker’s continued existence and impact reside not in their physical absence, but in the vibrant, ongoing connections among living individuals. The legacy is forged through acts of shared humanity, where the departed is honored by the love and empathy extended to others. By instructing loved ones to find the speaker in “the people I’ve known or loved,” the poem asserts that memory becomes an active, evolving force. This shifts the focus from mourning a loss to celebrating a pervasive presence, ensuring that the speaker’s spirit endures through kindness, connection, and the collective human experience, a truly living legacy.

Specific Grieving Instructions
The poem advises donating remains to children and old men. It suggests crying for others nearby and finding the speaker by embracing anyone, connecting through shared humanity.
Donating the Speaker’s Remains
Merrit Malloy’s “Epitaph” opens with a profoundly unconventional directive concerning the speaker’s physical being after death. The poem explicitly states, “When I die Give whats left of me away To children And old men that wait to die.” This instruction moves beyond traditional funeral rites, advocating for a final, selfless act of giving. It suggests a desire for the speaker’s physical essence, or perhaps their symbolic spirit, to continue contributing to life even after personal cessation. The specific recipients—children and old men—are chosen with deliberate intent. Children symbolize the future, innocence, and the continuous cycle of existence, implying that the speaker’s remains could offer a new start or vital support. For old men “that wait to die,” the donation could represent companionship, comfort, or a final act of shared humanity in their concluding years. This instruction establishes a powerful theme of generosity, transforming the end of one life into a direct benefit for others.
Crying for Others
Merrit Malloy’s “Epitaph” redirects the natural human impulse to grieve, offering a powerful instruction regarding tears. Instead of weeping for the departed speaker, the poem advises, “And if you need to cry, Cry for your brother Walking the street beside you.” This injunction broadens the scope of sorrow, urging survivors to channel their grief outwards towards the living. The focus shifts from personal loss to a collective empathy for those still navigating life’s struggles. It’s a call to connect with shared humanity, acknowledging the pain and challenges faced by others in the immediate present. By crying for “someone walking the street beside you,” the poem promotes an active, compassionate engagement with the world. This profound message suggests that true remembrance isn’t about self-pity but about extending understanding and support to those who continue their journey, embodying the speaker’s legacy through empathy.
Connecting Through Shared Humanity
Merrit Malloy’s “Epitaph” brilliantly guides us to connect through shared humanity as a path through grief. The speaker instructs, “And when you need me, Put your arms Around anyone And give them what you need to give me.” This profound directive transforms personal longing into an act of universal love and empathy. Instead of seeking the departed in isolation, the poem encourages survivors to find the speaker’s enduring essence within the embrace of others. By offering comfort and support to those around them, mourners are, in essence, fulfilling their need to connect with the lost one. This practice cultivates a powerful sense of unity. It reinforces that love transcends physical presence, manifesting vividly through acts of genuine human connection, ensuring the speaker’s compassionate legacy thrives within a broader community.

Remembering the Speaker’s Presence
The poem instructs remembering the speaker by embracing others and finding their presence in loved ones. Love is expressed through human connection, especially by letting hands touch hands, a powerful testament.
Embracing Others
Merrit Malloy’s “Epitaph” provides a profound instruction for remembering the speaker: by embracing others. The poem explicitly states, “Put your arms around anyone and give them what you need to give me.” This powerful directive shifts the focus of remembrance from solitary grief to active, outward connection and communal compassion. Instead of solitary grieving, individuals are encouraged to extend love and compassion to those in their immediate surroundings. By physically embracing another, the mourner channels their deep lingering affection and longing into a tangible act of kindness. This act of giving becomes the essence of remembering, ensuring the speaker’s loving legacy continues through shared human warmth and empathetic embrace.
Love Through Touching Hands

Merrit Malloy’s poem, “Epitaph,” offers a tender and specific instruction for expressing enduring affection: “You can love me most by letting Hands touch hands.” This profound message encourages remembrance through direct physical contact. It suggests that the deepest love, in the speaker’s absence, is found not in grand gestures but in the simple, intimate act of human touch. This gesture transcends words, conveying comfort, solidarity, and a shared sense of humanity. It transforms grief into a conduit for profound connection, allowing individuals to find solace and express their feelings by reaching out to others. The act of hands touching hands becomes a symbolic continuation of the speaker’s love, fostering warmth and understanding among the living. This tangible expression powerfully reinforces the idea that love persists through the bonds we forge and maintain with each other.
Finding the Speaker in Loved Ones

Merrit Malloy’s “Epitaph” offers a poignant directive for remembrance, encouraging mourners to find the speaker’s enduring presence within the living. The poem advises, “look for me in the people I’ve known or loved,” guiding individuals to perceive the speaker’s essence in the relationships that persist. This transformative instruction suggests that rather than dwelling on absence, one can experience a continuation of the beloved through ongoing human connections. Moreover, the poem urges, “And when you need me, Put your arms Around anyone And give them what you need to give me.” This powerful message transforms grief into an act of shared humanity, channeling love and care intended for the deceased into kindness for others, thereby ensuring the speaker’s spirit lives on through collective compassion.

Digital Availability and Format

Merrit Malloy’s “Epitaph” is digitally accessible. Available as a free PDF file, typically 2 pages and rated 75 (4), or as a convenient text file online.
Merrit Malloy’s poignant “Epitaph” is predominantly accessed today via its Portable Document Format (PDF). This widely available digital file offers a convenient and free download for those seeking its profound message. The “Epitaph by Merrit Malloy” PDF typically spans two pages, presenting the complete poem clearly for easy reading or printing. Its popularity is reflected in user interactions, frequently showing ratings such as 75 (4), indicating positive engagement and appreciation. This format is instrumental in disseminating the poem’s timeless instructions for grieving and remembering, ensuring its enduring wisdom reaches a global audience. The PDF serves as a primary conduit for individuals to easily encounter this impactful literary work.
PDF Page Count and Ratings
The digital availability of Merrit Malloy’s “Epitaph” frequently presents itself in PDF format, offering readers a consistent experience regarding its structure and reception. Specifically, the widely circulated PDF versions of this poignant poem are consistently noted for their concise length, often comprising exactly two pages. This economical page count ensures the poem’s impactful message is delivered efficiently, allowing for quick consumption and easy printing. Beyond its physical brevity, these digital documents also carry valuable indicators of public appreciation. User ratings, such as the frequently observed 75 (4), highlight the poem’s significant positive reception. These scores reflect a strong endorsement from readers, underscoring the profound resonance of Malloy’s words and their effectiveness in guiding individuals through themes of remembrance and grief, solidifying its recognized literary merit.
Text File Access
Beyond its prevalent distribution in PDF format, Merrit Malloy’s “Epitaph” is also readily accessible as a plain text file (.txt). This format offers a straightforward and highly compatible method for users to obtain and read the poem. The availability for “free download as… Text File .txt)” means that individuals can easily acquire the raw textual content, allowing for simple viewing on virtually any device or operating system without requiring specialized software. This unformatted version is particularly beneficial for those who prefer to read the poem in a minimalist environment or wish to copy and paste sections for personal use or reflection. It provides an excellent alternative to the PDF, catering to different user preferences for digital content consumption, ensuring wide-ranging access to Malloy’s impactful words for online and offline reading.

Cultural Recognition and Style
Merrit Malloy’s “Epitaph” gained significant cultural recognition, notably featuring in the TV show NCIS. Its soothing voice and spoken word delivery resonated, making it a memorable piece of contemporary poetry.
Featured in NCIS TV Show
Merrit Malloy’s poignant “Epitaph” gained significant public visibility through its inclusion in the acclaimed television series, NCIS. This pivotal feature on the popular show introduced the powerful verses to a broad, mainstream audience, significantly amplifying its cultural reach. The poem’s themes of grief, remembrance, and interconnectedness resonated deeply with the dramatic narratives often explored within NCIS episodes. Its appearance served to underscore the poem’s universal appeal, allowing its profound message to touch viewers who might not typically engage with poetry. This strategic placement cemented “Epitaph’s” status beyond literary circles, contributing to its enduring recognition and making it a memorable piece within contemporary media. The show’s use of the poem highlighted its emotional depth and enduring relevance.
Spoken Word and Soothing Voice
Merrit Malloy’s “Epitaph” often finds a powerful resonance in its spoken word delivery. The poem’s inherently comforting and contemplative nature lends itself perfectly to recitation, particularly when conveyed with a soothing voice. This style transforms the written words into an intimate experience, allowing listeners to absorb its gentle instructions on grief and remembrance more deeply. The “soothingvoice” aspect, frequently noted by poetry lovers, enhances the poem’s ability to offer solace. It creates an atmosphere conducive to quiet reflection, much like a tranquil moment at “3amt” (3 AM), where one might ponder life’s profound questions. The auditory experience adds another compelling layer to Malloy’s intentions, making the instructions for loving and remembering feel personal and immediate. This presentation style underscores the poem’s empathetic core, making it a favorite for those seeking comfort through poetic expression.